7-23-08

4pm
Beach, El Salvador

Last night was so intense. After debriefing and dinner, we went up to the prayer tower. We all sat outside the sanctuary and began to pray. Some locals began to pray over us. One lady came and laid hands on me. She was praying in tongues and weeping. As soon as she took her hands off me, the area on my shoulder that had been stabbed was healed. There was no more pain. In a single instant it left me.
I fell to my knees. We made our way into the sanctuary to worship and prepare for a service. By the time I had gathered the strength to get up and go inside, people were already face down on the floor weeping. The presence of God was overwhelming. I kneeled, still in awe. I ended up face down for the first half of the service.
The girl speaking was speaking about how we can never believe we are too safe for the enemy to harm us. She told us that we needed to prepare ourselves for the battle we’ll face when arriving home. Our team got together to pray. They asked for all the people who already knew their calling to come to the middle of the circle to be prayed over.
It was amazing. I just sat in awe of his power and presence there. When we had been prayed over for a while, someone said, “now that you’ve been poured into, it’s time for you to pour into them.”
I got up to pray and Lacey came towards me. She wrapped her around me and prayed. Then she left me. I couldn’t move. My hands were raised about shoulder high and my eyes wouldn’t, couldn’t open.
Somebody came and touched my hands. I fell backwards almost like I was floating and blacked out. When I was finally able to open my eyes, I sat up and smiled. I looked around. My team members were all so in tune with God, and were all being touched. It was awesome. I leaned over the edge of the prayer tower and gazed out towards the lake and moon as I watched the lightning come from behind the clouds and mountains.
Later all the girls gathered in a room for a meeting. My head was pounding as a migraine came on full blast. Ana Gloria shared her testimony as she and Liz told us about purity and setting boundaries for ourselves. I wish I could’ve given my full attention, but my head was pounding and I was getting nauseous.
I finally went to the bathroom and threw up. I crashed out on the couch as they finished the meeting at about a quarter till two in the morning. I wish I could’ve stayed awake. I kept waking up all night as my headache got worse and worse. I got up and threw up again and later I began dry heaving.
They woke me up and six thirty in the morning for breakfast. Ugh… I told them to leave me, I had no appetite. They forced me up. I drank water in attempt to hydrate myself. As soon as we got down to the cafeteria, I threw up all the water I had just drunk and I began dry heaving again.
I went back up to the room and fell asleep until we left for the beach. We had to pack everything up to bring with us. We’re spending the night at a hotel on the beach. It’s beautiful, but I’m drained. I need sleep.
Our goodbye party is tonight. We’re going to watch a movie and a slideshow of our trip and most likely stay up all night talking and saying our farewells. I need to take a nap now.
I keep trying to imagine what tomorrow will be like, saying goodbye to this world and hello to a now foreign lifestyle. I can’t imagine. Home, where is home? I feel like this is my home. But I know it’s not. What is it going to be like, going “home”? Will anyone understand me? Will mama understand me? How can I tell them all that has happened to me and expect them to understand? What will I do when I’m “home”?