6-28-08

10 am
Nicaragua

Last night was another amazing night. There actually weren’t as many people as we expected to be there, but it was still a pretty big service. We did two hours of ministry and an hour long prayer movement in the end.
When we started praying I felt worthless. I felt like I had no anointing, no power, no authority. I went and leaned against a wall and cried as I tried to pray. I began to tell God that I felt empty, like I was nothing, like there was no reason for me to be here. I asked for conformation and fell to my face weeping.
Kristal came and began to pray. She prayed for God to encourage me and for me not to forget how he’s used me. I felt another hand on my back as Kristal kept speaking confirmation into my life. God works in mysterious ways, but he gave me confirmation. I can’t believe I let myself feel that way though. I hadn’t felt that way in a long time.
Then I remembered the lady who prayed the armor of God over me in Honduras. She warned me about the battle to come… I will be victorious. I keep singing this song, it won’t leave my mind
“the more I seek you, the more I find you,
The more I find you, the more I love you.
I wanna sit at your feet,
Drink from the cup in you hands
Lean back against you and breath
Feel your heartbeat.
This love is so deep
It’s more than I can stand
I melt in your peace
It’s overwhelming.”
I find myself fasting for my family once again. It’s also my last day of ministry in Nicaragua. I don’t want to leave yet, I want to stay forever.